Kellie @ KD!

Hey, for the very few of you that actually read this, I have a new blog for this summer to keep you all updated on how things are going at camp for the next couple months! Check it out here :) Thanks!

Brilla. Crece. Ama.

things i’m excited about for next year:

WARM weather!!
SUN!!
Spanish-speakers!
my own room (and bathroom)
getting in shape
exploring a new city
running on cool trails
swimming
meeting new friends
finding a church community
hanging out w/ Angie
BBQs

ups and downs.

I’m graduating tomorrow.

I’m leaving for KD in two and a half weeks.

I’m moving to Texas in August.

WHAT?!

I’ve had my ups and downs about all of this. I’ve gone back and forth ALL semester between excitement and fear, joy and sadness, contentment and loneliness. One day, I can’t wait for the next step of the journey… and the next day (or sometimes just a couple hours later), I’m crying myself to sleep. Even though I’ve done a relatively good job at holding myself together, my emotions have been fluctuating out of control, and it’s really a draining process.

My last day at MSU is tomorrow, and I can hardly believe it. I took my time through this school year, knowing that it came too soon, yet not wanting it to end. I didn’t rush the moments, and I took advantage of (almost) every opportunity. It terrifies me that before I know it, I’ll be leaving behind everyone and everything I know and love for a new, uncertain adventure… but I’ve captured every possible memory to carry with me. I’m SO thankful for a God who sustains me, who loves me, and who will never leave me no matter where I go. Anddd I’m praising Him for dear friends who’ve promised to be there for me—even from thousands of miles away.

This is a time of change, a time of transition, a time of finality, but also a time of new beginnings. Here’s to the One who remains constant through it all! PTL :)

Brilla. Crece. Ama.

things I’ll miss about the Hoose:

ROOMMATE HANGOUT NIGHTS!!
Documenting roommate hangout nights
Calling Van Hoosen “The Hoose” (Scottish for “house”!)
Doing anything but study late at night
Hiding Rufus
Threatening to hide Dopey
Sally the Unicorn
The CRAB
The Fuzzy Pink Dino
Jumping the fence
Allie’s excessive cleanliness
Katelin’s c-nugs, c-tends, and c-brays (?)
Laura’s dance moves
Katelin and Laura trying to act all cool and ghetto errday
Allie’s weird noises
looking at Allie every time Katelin and Laura start arguing about sports
celebrating birthdays w/ surprise streamers, Office quotes, and obnoxious party horns ;)
the Secret Garden!

Brilla. Crece. Ama.

things I’ll miss about MSU:

living in the Hoose with the best roomies EVER
all-you-can-eat cafeterias open all day long
being sassy w/ Erin on 2 Middle Snyder, 1 Mason, and in our CSD classes, ha!
walking through Anthony/Engineering in the middle of winter
getting to think that 8am is early
being only 20 minutes away from most of my extended family
MAPS in the house!!
visiting Bethany at the C-Store
parking tickets… NOT!
Trinity Church
my friends who tell me what’s up even though I don’t want to hear it
having Jesus times at the corner table in Sparty’s
my second family at the Davis household
babysitting my girls, Lily and Sophia
free pens from Sparticipation
getting free samples at the Dairy Store

Brilla. Crece. Ama.

things I learned (about myself) at MSU:

I suck at keeping in touch with people.
I really don’t like winter.
I love linguistics!
I’m bad at having best friends.
I don’t like dressing up.
I love to play Bananagrams!
I’m only competitive in ping-pong and word games.
I still don’t know how to study.
I am an introvert.
I could live off of Mexican food! And ice cream. And water.
I prefer chill to crazy.
I love kids in 1st to 5th grade (but other grades, too).
I’m not all that funny unless I’m tired and do dumb things (SB11).

Brilla. Crece. Ama.

"(general) things I learned at MSU:

“Early mornings” are relative.
It takes time to find community.
Family
is so, so precious.
Friendship can be complicated.
People won’t know
what I believe until I tell them.
There are a lot of smarter, better people
in the world than me.
Stamps cost a lot of money when you buy a lot of them.
Grocery shopping late on Sunday nights is relaxing.
Always read the fine
print of parking signs.
Work isn’t fun… unless you’re doing what you love.
School spirit takes effort (SB11)."

SB11!!

After 36 hours total of driving, it is good to be back in one place and stay there for a little while. But man oh man, was this week a much-needed time of fun and rest and silliness and cultural experiences :)

Highlights include:

• Road-tripping with 3 awesome ladies
• Seeing the thermometer hit 75 degrees!
• Staying on a lake
• Running almost every day... outside!
• Adventures with R-Batch
• Taking pictures with Bruce the Moose
• Swimming in the Atlantic Ocean!
• Beating Bethany at ping-pong (ha)
• Finishing a 1000-piece puzzle in one night
• Documenting every memory with a tweet and a picture
• Pizza cook-off!
• Saying "y'all" and stretching my vowels as often as possible
• Dinner at Hyman's
• Being really funny in the car... ha!

...plus everything else. It was a great week! But now I have class in 11 hours, I have homework to finish, work to think about, a bracket to fill out, support letters to address, and life to process. Back to reality, I guess!

processing.

Over a week later, and I am still trying to sort through all the thoughts running through my head. Thankfully, I finally got to start my journal, and seeing those thoughts listed on paper instead of swirled around in my brain has helped a lot to figure some things out. Pretty much anyone who’s talked to me in the past 2-3 weeks has witnessed my inability to put together cohesive thoughts… It really has been quite an adventure attempting to process this growing list of things to process!

I don’t even know where to start.

All I know right now is that I have been believing quite a few lies, and been pretty darn reluctant in accepting the truth that counters them.

At least I have some action points to take in the very near future…

PRAYER PRAYER PRAYER!

random thoughts.

1. I love my mom.
2. The sunset tonight was absolutely beautiful!
3. I finally got to run outside today :)
4. My emotions are out of control.
5. I'm learning to devote myself to prayer.
6. My sister leaves for Mexico tomorrow!
7. Love is one of the hardest things I've ever done.
8. Skype is an awesome invention.
9. Sara Groves' music calms me.
10. The next few months will be full of tears (and laughter!).
11. (in honor of Lauren) I love letter-writing!

"Making disciples is not an easy process. It is trying. It is messy. It is slow, tedious, even painful at times. It is all these things because it is relational. Jesus has not given us an effortless step-by-step formula for impacting nations for His glory. He has given us people, and He has said, ‘Live for them. Love them, serve them, and lead them. Lead them to follow me, and lead them to lead others to follow me. In the process you will multiply the Gospel to the ends of the earth.’

"…According to Jesus, disciple-making involves going. It involves intentionally taking the Gospel to people where they live, work, and play. Disciple-making is not a call for others to come to us to hear the Gospel but a command for us to go to others to share the Gospel. A command for us to be Gospel-living, Gospel-speaking people at every moment and in every context where we find ourselves."

-"Radical" by David Platt

2011.

A couple of quick thoughts to bring in the new year:

First, this has been the best and most relaxing break that I've probably ever had in my life. No pressure to get things done, no long to-do lists, no worrying about upcoming tests or assignments... Only time to sleep in, hang out with family, play in the snow, read books, do crafts, and practice piano/guitar. It's a beautiful thing.

Second, I'm realizing that 2011 carries with it a great weight of mystery. I know what life will tentatively look like for the next four and a half months, but after that...? I have no idea. Where will I be this summer? I don't know. What will I be doing? I don't know. Will I go to grad school in the fall? I don't know. Where will I be in the fall? I don't know. And the scary thing is, I might not know for awhile.

So here's to a month of prayer and fasting, and discerning a bit more of what the future will hold. Praise God for His sovereignty over what's to come, even though I am clueless. Praise God that I can trust Him to lead me in His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Praise God that He uses these times of clouded confusion to cause my feet to walk closer to His certain, glorious steps.

Thank You, Lord, for what You have done in 2010, and thank You, Lord, for all You will do in 2011!